We regret to inform you that your application has not been successful

Yeah, I have had the title above at least twice over the past couple of days. The first one I received came a few days ago. Because i have applied to them before, I knew exactly what I was going to be reading, but was still disappointed as it had felt that it had been written just for me. Obviously I was wrong-it had been written for one of the 100 odd (I imagine) people who had applied as well as me.

I always feel that I shouldn’t complain about rejection letters, but only for respect out of what other people might think. This is because I once had to sit on a train for almost three hours with an elderly gentleman who proceeded to tell me that, because I was a student, I have had my life handed to me on a plate and that I didn’t know I was born. This, at the time, I thought was a bit harsh after I offered to share my packet of crisps with him.

(Aside: On this same train journey, I also discovered the joy of debate. After admitting to the lady next to me that the content I was reading up on was about Victorian Prostitutes and their role in infecting the British Army with Syphilis during the period, it ended up with a discussion about whether you could call the Victorians more moral than us, when you consider the seedy underbelly of Victorian life. While many did build great buildings for the public, the story of the 13 year old father that has been reported in the British papers would have been possible back then too, especially when you consider that the age of consent, during part of the period, was 12. This was a pleasent surprise. Usually I just mentioned the Prostitutes in my loud cheery voice and the person would go suddenly quiet. It was a great way of being alone in the carriage.)  

I guess what annoys me about rejection letters is how little thought feels like they have gone to them, if you recieve them at all. Before anyone asumes that what I want is a three page treatise going on about why I wasn’t chosen, what I would actually like is at least a sentence that says ‘you didn’t have the right experience’ or ‘your answers for the test were not in the top 50%’. They don’t need to be harsh (‘Hahahahahahahaha! You call THAT a CV? My cat has bought in dead entities better than that!’), but I would appreciate some honesty (‘We ran out of steam before we got to you, and Darrell wanted a smoke, so we just put an ‘X’ next to your name and wandered off’ or ‘To be honest, this is the 300th application I have looked at today, and I am now developing a stigmitism. Actually, sod that-I have gone blind’ or even ‘Please HELP! I have been trapped in this office for three days and they won’t let me use the Loo until I have found some good applicants!’ or ‘Sorry, I tried to read it, but my brain leaked out of my ears. You are exactly the same as the other 1000 I have looked at today’). Some individual feedback would want me to apply again and improve myself. It would also be interesting to see if anything you do to make yourself more interesting, actually helps.

No doubt along this line, others assume that because I have received a rejection letter, I will burst into tears after cruising through life and never being told ‘No’. However, this is not the first one I have received, and so while I was annoyed, I wasn’t bothered. What really ground my gears was the second rejection, as it made out that I had not the retail experience they were looking for. It looks like I am caught up in the “I need experience, but no one will give me the experience as they would rather find someone who could do it and has the experience” trap. 

Phew, this is a lot shorter than what I would have written if I had sat down in front of my computer and typed up this rant last night. I think I am more resigned now to the fact that I am likely to get a lot more letters like this before I get a successful application. Companies can be a lot more choosy. I have a lot to offer any prospective employer, but then-so do lots of other people.

Anyway, what made me smile today was this website that is very similar to my idea of Daily Mail Bingo. It’s so nice to see that others have recognised the fruit cakes too(and I’m talking about those who on there who manage to rant despite the title being as innocent as ‘do you like kittens?’ or along those lines). 

Anyway, I’m off to print off more paper from more employment websites (there is something very satisfying about then writing your ideas all over it, or is that just me?) while yawning thanks to a late night knitting socks. One of the advantages of Graduating is that I knit at home and no-one bats an eyelid. Knit in a University pub and you might as well as brought in an inflatable version of the Enigma Machine that plays ‘Making Your Mind Up’ by Bucks Fizz while juggling sparklers.